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The last of the series and a few wobbles ensued when @BBCBeingHuman kept tweeting about the FINAL Being Human despite entreaties to add that important final E…  Luckily, the fifth series was announced over the closing credits so no nail chewing wait for confirmation this year.

“What colour are your daughter’s eyes?”

Another glimpse of a bleak future, 2022 and Eve is being smuggled around the country – apparently with the full knowledge of the vampires.  As before the bleakness is summed up with few props and Mark Gatiss brings a cold malevolence to Mr Snow that creates shivers every time he smiles.   It seems that the future scenes shift slightly as we move thorough the present, every change, every new tweak to Eve’s story alters slightly what is to come.  What is to come is a world of control, pregnancy embargo, travel visas and resettlement camps and the gore quotient was raised unexpectedly with a rather literal interpretation of having someone’s guts.  Squelchy…  Nice!

I did like Mr Snow’s “Be seeing you.”  Does that make him Number One?

“Thanks to you breweries the world over are safe from piss-ups.”

The Old Ones have arrived at Stokers.  They’ve rearranged the furniture and bought fruit.  Cutler wasn’t there to greet them so that’s not a good start and he doesn’t recover much with his over-confident bluster.  Poor CutlerNickCutler – his plans come to nothing, even the offer of the War Child isn’t met with the praise he so desires.  He’s even insulted by a werewolf.  It was painful to watch him crumple, so much confidence come to nothing.  Maybe if he’d had just a little approval from Hal instead of cruelty and unwanted apologies he might have done better but no.  He needs to be needed, to be approved of and to Mr Snow this is just weakness.  He won’t give in though and there’s a desperate bravery in his challenge to Mr Snow, especially after such a contemptuous dismissal.

But who did clear up after Cutler let Tom’s werewolf loose in the night club?  Who made sure the footage wasn’t reported, that Alex’s body wasn’t found?  I’ll come back to that…

His plans thwarted Cutler has a giant fit of pique and vows to kill the War Child himself; kill all the vampires, annihilate his own species.  What level of despair brought him to this?  Just what did Hal do to him to make him hate himself and his people so much?

Whether he was saving humanity or killing the vampires his desperation to have his name remembered took him somewhere we’ve never been before.  Have you ever wondered what happens if a vampire forces his way in uninvited?  Well, now we know.  He burns – horribly, painfully and rather messily.  A trail of rare meat leaving yet another stain on the Honolulu Heights carpets.  Did he know what would happen?  If he did he’d have known it was suicide.  Did he think he was the Nemesis?  Cutler certainly had a burnt arm – he has a burnt everything to be honest, although one eye escaped unscathed, all the better to aim the knife!  He intends to kill the baby, Eve pleads that he does for the TV but Annie can’t let him and eventually, at the every last moment, a stake is deployed.  She knows she can’t stand by and let Eve be killed as she has been begged to do, not even if it means the survival of the human race.

“This is how it ends…  This is what it was all for”

Oh Nick Cutler – I’ll miss you.  So much wasted potential, so many untold tales – all that lovely sarcasm and ambiguity.  Andrew Gower consistently provided one of the stand out performances of this series, right to the end and even under a gruesome makeup job that made Sasha the zombie look natural!  Maybe one day I’ll get a favourite character beyond the end of a series…

“Always be kind and polite and have the materials to build a bomb.”

Tom got relatively little to do in this episode although his plan to build a swimming pool was finally revealed as a talent for bomb making.  You were surprised?  Really?  Really?  I do wonder if Toby Whithouse played a little safe with Michael Socha this time, waiting to see how he did as a lead but I think he’s proved himself and I look forward to see him being stretched a little more next year.  He did have some marvellous lines – Annie in the future with Eve?  That’s crackers! Not to mention the Manchester United dig…

I’d have liked to have seen him interact more with Alex, but I can wait.  Next series I suspect he’ll be guided by the big sister he never had, whether he wants to be or not.  I didn’t quite get what Milo said to him that convinced him to give baby Eve to the Old Ones.  Did he see a father figure, a new McNair?  And was Milo saving him?  He kept him out of the explosion but of course the leather clad WW has his own agenda – he intends to stay on the winning side.  Notice that Tom didn’t ask Annie how he died in Eve’s world, he thought he knew.  He didn’t expect to survive the Old Ones.

His friendship with Hal was firmly cemented throughout the episode and we leave them as the best of mates.  Well, for the moment anyway…

“Yet I’ve never met anyone so unaffected by their own mortality”

Much as suspected it seems that Alex is hanging around – despite being dressed like a girl! Could have been so much worse – remember the theatre ghosts?  I like Alex.  Her dark humour is nicely tempered with an empathy she mostly keeps well hidden.  Of course she kept up the sarcasm when she first met Annie and of course she quickly realised how misplaced it was.  She’s a quick study ghost-wise as well – luckily for Hal.

Kate Bracken’s performance showed us Alex’s vulnerability, her trying to come to terms with everything going on around her, her genuine horror when Cutler tried to kill Eve and she works very well with Hal.  One plea though – do resist the temptation to put them together together.  Leave them as friends, spiky and stroppy and nyway, I doubt the blood drinking thing will be forgotten very quickly… I hope she mentions it in every episode!

One moment that was perfectly done was when Alex reappears to find Hal desperately drinking the congealed, maggot filled blood from the floor.  Without a lot of fuss she showed that she understands just how much the addiction has him in its thrall.  She gets it.  Maybe in a way that Annie and George never did.  She does express it in a perfectly Alex way though!

“That must suck spectacularly”

Hal’s horror of being dragged back to the Old Ones was understated but one of the strengths of Damien Molony’s performance is that extraordinary stillness.  Only his eyes betrayed his fear and his certain knowledge that he’d be back to the worse he could be when he pleaded with Tom and Alex to get away.

The scene in the cafe with Mr Snow was one of the best of the series – Hal’s rigid, desperate, containment; not daring to look at Mr Snow but not able to move away either.  A tense contrast to Mr Snow’s oleaginous confidence in his protégée and this was so obviously two beings who know each other very, very well.   Did Mr Snow make Hal?  I’m not sure, but I think not.  Hal’s fear of backsliding, of becoming Lord Hal again wasn’t misplaced and his abortive attempt to bomb Stokers failed with a sad inevitability.  Mr Snow took his will and his mind and who knows what he would have done with them.

The final scenes of Hal tied to the chair, watched by Tom and Alex, to get him clean again were a great precursor to series five.  They fit together.  It works.

“Give me back my fucking baby!”

Oh Annie.  Where do you have left to go?  Eve’s warnings of the future have left her despairing and the moment when she realises she will always save Eve is harrowing.  She knows what she’s condemning the world to but she can’t do it.  She can’t even look away while someone else does it.

If I’m going to nitpick about this episode it’s that I can’t quite get the leap from Annie’s protectiveness to leaving Eve alone so Tom could take her.  Also why did Tom take her?  Did he not trust Annie?  And exactly what provoked Annie to go in all guns blazing?  Anyway… whatever… I can go with it.  I’ll work it out later.  It meant we got blue-eyed, kick-ass, vampire scattering Annie so that was all right then.

Did Annie really not get that the Old Ones want Eve alive?  That she is their protection not their downfall?  Alex knew and Cutler spelled it out (although his face sliding off was a touch distracting).  How could Annie not know?  Maybe that was the plan all along – if she had known she would never have acted as she did.  The final straw was Mr Snow’s plan to pull the world apart and it looks as though innocent, well-meaning Annie had finally realised the evil she was confronted with.  She made her choice.

I have to say I never dreamed that Toby would kill baby Eve but he did and bravo to him!  I suspected that some sort of softly softly solution would be found but this was pretty final even though Annie was quickly reunited with ghost baby through her door.

It was a fitting end for Annie.  The ordinary girl, the one who’d been abused and still trusted and loved; the one who saw the best in everyone despite all.  She saved the world.

Of course I’m left with questions – presumably baby Eve stays a baby forever in the afterlife?  If Nina and George were waiting for her can you imagine the narkiness that Nina has stored up?! Not only did George abandon the baby, now Annie has killed her!  The sulk will be stratospheric!  Actually another thought – Nina is going to want her baby back and will Annie hand her over without a fight?  Anyway – maybe she finds a new place to be, the thought that she’s stuck with playing eternal gooseberry to George and Nina is not where I’d want her to be.  Maybe Gilbert can come to the rescue?

And no.  Sorry.  It won’t be Mitchell.  I know I’m saying something unpopular here but vampires don’t get the happy ever after.  That’s the deal.

“I love you.”

And finally the clearing up.  The men in grey.  The domestics.  I’m reminded of Hal in 1855 and his formula for the right amount of staff to size of house – how many does the world need?  Mr Rook isn’t vampire – a mirror told us that – but is he human?  Maybe.  At the very least I think he is psychic, I’m damn sure he knew Alex was there.  He just didn’t need to deal with her right then.

Maybe the MiG are the Gatekeepers?  Maybe they are angels?  Demons?  Was Arthur Yvonne’s dad?!  Whatever they are I’d rather like to have a rummage through the boxes in that tidy, neatly catalogued archive…

I’ll come back to Mr Rook and those files when I’ve had a chance to ponder – after all I’ll be musing here all year as we wait for series five…

“No rest for the wicked”

Random musings…

Woolly wellies…

Just how did Hal and Alex tempt Tom’s werewolf into the police van?  Did he have a handy chicken in his pocket?

Nice to see an up to date tax disc (Nov 2022) on Mr Snow’s rather posh car – vampire bureaucracy at its finest.

“There was a time when Cutler and I were friends.”  Really? Was that before or after you killed him, made him an addict and a murderer – oh, and killed his wife and conned him into drinking her blood?  Come on Hal – you’re not getting away with that one.

Hal was getting his arse properly kicked by those female vampires!

Even a vampire believes the films about breaking down doors.  Yes, it hurts!

If Mark Gatiss ever calls you poppet you may want to consider running.

I wonder what would have happened if Annie or Alex had invited Cutler in midway through the barbecue?  Once it’s started does the cooking continue until there’s nothing left or is there a chance of recovery?  I hope it isn’t eternal life looking like flambéed hamburger!

Were the Old One’s playing draughts?  Maybe Cutler should have presented them with a games compendium.

Mr Snow has a TV the size of a bedsheet, which is not terribly specific.  I mean is it king-sized?  Single?  I wonder what he watches…

Does rent-a-ghosting with a vampire trump rent-a-ghosting with an armchair?


Farewell to Annie and a hearty round of applause to Lenora Crichlow for a good job well done!