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“Is that possible?”   “That and so much more…”

Gay Paree in 1933 and the most gorgeous set ever seen in Being Human!  (If the contents could just be packed up and transported to my living room.  Thanks.)  (Oh, maybe leave the dead body behind…)

Some more of Herrick and Mitchells shared history is drip fed into the story.  After 16 years of vampirism Mitchell is over excited about blood and killing and his dishevelled, messy state contrasts with Herrick’s immaculate bearing and cool detachment.  Herrick seems in awe of The Old Ones – holding them as an example while Mitchell just wants – well, more…  Has Herrick ever really trusted Mitchell?  I always thought he kept him close through love and the knowledge that he could have unlimited influence but now I suspect Herrick saw a major loose cannon.  He certainly wasn’t keen to make Mitchell his heir – his perennial disorganisation and recklessness worried Herrick even then.  The great secrets of resurrection and more were too much power to give him.  All that puppy dog blood lust – would Mitchell have even survived more than a few years without Herrick by his side?

“Tomb Service…”  Herrick told the assembled vampires this story in series one episode five when he welcomed back Mitchell.  We know the standards of vampire humour are pretty dire – fart jokes were the funeral parlour highlight in series one – but they must be worse than I thought if Herrick is still laughing at this 70-odd years on…

“So, your Dad’s a ghost.  And a pikey”

The light relief this week (relatively, anyway…) is that George’s father has died – the notice spotted by Annie in one of Mitchell’s pile of papers, his obsessive trawl for  Box Tunnel clippings.  George sneaks into the service, watching from behind a tree only to find his father doing exactly the same thing!  Naturally(!) he assumes he is a ghost while George Senior assumes George is quite mad.  They manage at happy cross purposes until a bag of crisps proves his undoing.  To George’s horror his Dad has faked his own death for a fresh start – his wife has left him, his son has disappeared what else was there?  (BTW pot and kettle Sands Junior – isn’t that pretty much what you did?)  In an attempt (pre-crisps) to get George Snr to pass over he looks for his unfinished business.  His list is beautifully banal but includes George seeing his mother again and that desperate interview with the new man, George’s despised ex-PE teacher.   Desperate for excuses for his absence, all George can come up with is a cult – the Church of Earth (wind and fire) and the escape plot from The Shawshank Redemption… It does lead (of course) to a neat reconciliation and healing his fractured family allows George to concentrate on the prospect of his own.  The reunited parents are off to Cornwall in the caravan with their sporches and this is quite possibly the catalyst that sends the McNairs back to Barry!

James Fleet is an understated but neat George Snr and the mirroring of him and George is clever – their clothes, posture and mannerisms are all so similar.  Yet another single episode guest star that couldn’t have been better cast – one of the many things that Being Human does so very well.  There’s a lovely moment when George, standing in front of a wall of Russell Tovey’s real life boyhood photos, tells his parents he is a werewolf.  George Snr just checks he’s on medication and the moment is past.  He could have told them anything – they are all reunited, that is all that matters.

Back at the house Mitchell has yet another really cunning plan…  he feeds Herrick his own blood.  Yes, that couldn’t go wrong at all could it?  Of course Herrick is revolted (or so it seems) but I can see that he does drink before Mitchell realises it won’t work.  Herrick needs real, live human blood – and hearing that strikes a chord in Herrick…

“Seriously, I think I’ve shagged people for less!”

Police Officer Nancy is following up the tip left by Nina – initially considering it a complete waste of time, all apart from the exceptionally astonishing cup of tea!  Must be all that practice Annie has!  Mitchell tries his best to look innocent which is truly painful – a combination of village idiot and kicked kitten cute – absolutely not his best look.  He only manages a true look of injured pride when accused of having dodgy hair and an annoying accent.

Herrick has now graduated to peering through holes in the ceiling and spies on Nurse Nina ministering to the bloodstains caused by Nancy falling off her heels.  Creeping downstairs later he sucks the blood from the tissues left behind – and that’s the Herrick we know, the taste is awakening old knowledge.  Nancy returns to talk to Mitchell again, he has in no way managed to put her off.  He throws Daisy into the mix to distract her but she has an instinct that there is more.  Herrick finds her – he’s tasted her blood and she is calling to him.  His stalking her through the house is truly disturbing and the sound of her blood torments him and he offers to tell her about Mitchell, to whisper in her ear.  He’s close, far too close but he pulls away – he can’t even taste her, he needs to maintain his fiction, his place in the house.  But what he can do is show her Mitchell’s secret hiding pace and Graham’s book.

“Not just for your sake.  For Lia’s too”

Not the best episode for the girls this week – Nina gets a few nice lines but just tags along with George and Annie is back to being without plot.  Being relegated to quoting Working Girl (Coffee, tea or me?”) is way below Lenora’s talents and Annie’s character.  Please give her something more to do!  Surely she must have some idea of what Mitchell has done?  Maybe not the details but his whole demeanour reeks guilt and he’s snappy and soppy in equal parts.  Are we really to believe that sharp clever Annie is so blinded by a sudden attack of true love and happy ever afters?  At the end of series two Annie knew something had happened, and her determination to clear him just has to end in tears.  She’s tracking Nancy although quite how she can help is debatable but what she does do is bring Lia’s picture into the house – making Mitchell lie to her outright.  He doesn’t know Lia, he never met her.  I’m quite sure that Lia won’t like that – or is she smiling in purgatory, watching her plans coming together…

Compared to last weeks rattling ghost train ride this episode felt a little like filler.  It moves us towards what is inevitably going to be a shattering climax – Mitchell is happily painting himself into an ever smaller corner and Annie now has a brush to help.  Herrick is still keeping his secrets but how long can he resist to call of blood.  And – whoopee! – the McNairs are back next week!  Why do I suspect that Herrick won’t be surprised to see them?  I am wondering if it was Herrick who invented the cage fights?  Given the unfilmed flashback of Herrick’s recruitment on the Blog, where he was turned by child vampire Hettie when he tries to sell her to a  brothel – anything is possible with such an outright evil genius…

Some random thoughts…

The creaking of the Honolulu Heights sign reminds me of the clanky tap – is this house trying to tell us something?

George Senior had an Anglican funeral so it must be his Mum who is Jewish.

I think you’ll find that we already knew that PE teachers are ALWAYS evil!!  All I will say is cross-country running and PE knickers…

Has Mitchell learned nothing in his 117 years?  He kept the vampire porn and got them all ostracised as peados and now he’s kept Graham’s book.  He needs to curb those hoarding tendencies and embrace decluttering…

So, Daisy’s name is Daisy Hannigan-Spiteri.  If Ivan is Spiteri then was Hannigan her maiden name or first hubbie, Pearl’s father?


If you enjoyed this you’d like my book about series one and two – Being Human – unofficial and unauthorised


And now it’s time to worship at the Church of Earth… Wind… and Fire…!