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They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re all together ooky, the Addams Family”

We start with a flashback – not the captioned ones of series two but the sharp-eyed and sharper eared will date Adam’s first appearance to around 1986…  This is the life of a whole new kind of vampire – not just a child (or more correctly a rather spotty, sex obsessed adolescent) but a vampire fed by his parents.  A vampire who drinks but doesn’t kill.  Is this the first one we’ve seen?  For Mitchell it seems that death is a necessary and inevitable end of the process – Anne Rice’s Lestat’s ‘little drink’ never seems an option for him.  Maybe it just doesn’t work that way for our vamps although it was never clear if Ivan killed the emo girl in the cellar or kept returning.  Is this another way of living – a relationship with a loving human, happy to provide blood?

“I expected some kind of demon!  Not the last Russell Brand in the shop…”

As a blow to the ego it’s pretty damn good and coupled with the attention of the Old Ones what does that mean for Mitchell?  He has managed to slightly unscrunch his forehead – luckily  just before Botox was required to redress such heroic brow furrowing!  The Old Ones – presumably this is the Bolivian contingent which include Hetty and – if he arrived in one piece – Carl.  The agent of the Old Ones, Richard is far from impressed with Mitchell and with just a passing mention of ‘arrangements’ it seems a touch OTT that Mitchell deems them the obvious carers for a 46-year-old teenage vampire. He even leaves it to cosy couple George and Nina (parents in training?)  to deliver him.   Loved the newspaper going down to protect the upholstery from wolfy bottoms!  (Echos of Thora Hird in Last of the Summer Wine maybe…!)

Mitchell has managed to survive the feverish attentions of Annie – his self-appointed guardian angel – bringing us a hysterical and truly buttock clenching job interview.  Luckily her forged references swung it although even gold-plated bribery wouldn’t have convinced me to give ‘swearing at thin air’ Mitchell any kind of job!   Annie has bounced back from purgatory deceptively well – cleverly distracted by her quest for Mitchell’s dark heart.  Her attempts to charm Mitchell do seem rather desperate – do I detect Lia’s hand?  She needs Annie and Mitchell to be together.  Why, I have no idea.  Yet.  The long game…

“George.  You’re chit-chatting with a gimp”

There seems a certain level of shock over the suburban orgy scene.  I was just curious why – among all the leather and PVC – that Richard and Emma seemed to have bought their orgy wear from Debenhams!  Must try harder…  There’s a intriguing moral discussion to be had in the use of the willing victim for the vampires – is it OK or not?  It seems a neat solution but whether it is a loving parent or willing volunteer the implications are vast and can they subdue the urge to kill forever.  Going clean is indescribably painful and still has an end – Carl killed his lover in an almost inevitable act.  Maybe the essential nature of a vampire is truly fixed and can never be subverted – however much Michell wishes.

Lots of echos back to past events – gimp man in the basement versus emo girl in the cellar, who wants some of my…, not to mention Adam’s complaint that “I’m hungry” making us wonder how – or if – Bernie and Fleur are surviving.

Oh, and that episode of House of Elliott that Annie was watching?  I hope it was one with Toby Whithouse in it!


If you enjoyed hearing Peaches – this is The Stranglers back in 1977 on Top of the Pops with No More Heroes